Thursday, August 26, 2010


This is the time of year when the Provo-Orem area is flooded (literally up to my neck, as I'm 6'3") with new students. It is also flooded with returning students, but the new students are the ones who stick out, because they

1) Stand in the middle of a busy walkway on campus looking lost
2) Start crossing where there is no crosswalk, realize their error, and run back to where they started from instead of just continuing to the other side
3) Ask you where the building right in front of them is
4) Mispronounce "Widtsoe" even after you pronounce it correctly very clearly for them
5) Wear their high school senior shirt without also wearing gym shorts, making it clear that they made a conscious decision to wear their senior shirt in public
6) Say the grid system is hard to understand, even though for them it involves at most counting to 20
7) Ask the bus drivers if the 831 goes to the Mall (it's the ONLY northbound bus that doesn't)
8) Awkwardly hit on each other in public places like food lines and bus stops
9) Have unintentionally funny conversations, like this one:

I was on the 831 (!) yesterday, and two girls were having a chat about where things were at UVU, which is like holding a neon sign that says "I'm eighteen and I don't know where I'm going!" They also said several times that they had no idea where they were at the moment, which is like holding a sign that says "I've never ridden the 831 before and I was expecting it to go in a straight line for more than four blocks!" Then they took to talking about what they were seeing on University Parkway, and the subject of Golden Corral came up.

One of the girls asked the other "What's Golden Corral?" and the other said "It's a restaurant, like one of those where you can just eat as much as you want, what are those called . . ."


Then both of them blurt out "Buffet!" at the very same time and burst into giggles.

Now, I'm 6'3", 210 lbs., and I'm sure I'm more into buffets than the average person, but seriously, party people.