Thursday, September 30, 2010

DEAR STUPID PROVO DRIVER (17)

Dear stupid Provo driver:

Believe me, no one is more sorry than I that you had to wait for fifteen seconds at the crosswalk on Campus Drive. I'm sure you had somewhere really important to be, and that the red light with the pedestrian walking in front of it was just one in a long string of gross inconveniences that happened to you yesterday.

Nevertheless, revving your car's engine while stopped at said red light is in poor taste. And while doing it right as I walk past might make me jump a little bit and give you a laugh, guess what? You're still stupid.

Regards,
BUSNINJA

(Image by Allie Brosh)

BIG NEWS

UTA announced today that TWO light rail lines will be opening the same day. The Mid-Jordan Line and the West Valley Line will both open August 7, 2011!

HOORAY!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

PICKETING

Yesterday on the 850 I was privy to an interesting conversation, such as doesn't often fall on the ears of BYU students. Two men and a woman were conversing, and it became apparent from the pronouns used that the woman was lesbian. Mild eyebrow raise. Nothing inherently unusual there.

Then she said that a friend had called her up and said "Hey! Next weekend is General Conference!"

Large eyebrow raise. I admit my interest was piqued as to why she would be excited about LDS General Conference.

Then she said "We could totally go picket!"

Oh, okay. That makes more sense. I was able to resume my journey in peace.

PS Whether you're going to General Conference to actually attend conference or to picket it, take the train. Or sit in traffic for over an hour after each session is over. Your choice.

GOOD OL' ANAL-RETENTIVE

Apparently, I've judged Anal-Retentive too harshly.

I don't run into him too often these days, which is only partially on purpose. I ran into him yesterday, and his life seems to be getting better. He didn't lecture a single passenger on their incorrect bus riding. He's gotten thinner. He didn't stare me down when I got on the bus. He even said "thank you" when I tapped my pass on the reader when I got on. He's never said anything nice to me before.

Hmm.

Maybe he switched meds. Maybe he just REALLY didn't like the route he used to be on. Maybe he got divorced. Or remarried. Or something. Whatever changed, he wasn't emitting waves of horribleness anymore. I'm okay with that.

Friday, September 24, 2010

PILEUP

It all started when the buses came in the wrong order.

It's supposed to go 817, then 832, then 831, then 830, then 833.

Today as I was going home from BYU, the 817 came first. Nothing irregular. As often happens, large numbers of people piled on. Irregularity began when the next bus up the hill was the 830. I was mildly surprised, seeing as how that meant that the 830 was early and the 831 and 832 were both late. Such an eventuality was not behind my previously established paradigm, however, so I dismissed it. As I expected, large numbers of people boarded the 830.

So, while the 817 and 830 are both sitting at the bus stop, receiving passengers, the 832 finally decided to show up. Large numbers of people then made as if they were going to board the 832.

Here's the problem. There's only room for two buses at the Law Building bus stop.

So the 832 pulls in behind the other two buses already there, and people walk down to board it even though it's a ways down the hill, and straddling a crosswalk. Except some people don't, because they're purists (and they've probably been yelled at by the likes of Anal-Retentive).

Then things started getting weirder. The next bus up the hill was the 833. It pulled in behind the other three buses that were already there. A few people walked WAY down the hill, but most of the 833 people stayed there.

At long last, the 817 and 830 pulled away, and the 832 and 833 were able to pull up and actually pick up people in front of the bus stop. The 832 driver was even further delayed, however, by a potential passenger who was haggling with him over directions. By the time the 832 finally pulled out, the 833 was also pulling out, which I think annoyed the 832 driver a little, since he was supposed to be gone 5 minutes before the 833 was. He made sure to pull out in front.

After all this, the 833 Southbound, which was supposed to have come before ANY of what I have just described happened, passed by. Hmm.

Finally, after everyone else had cleared out, the 831 came up the hill. Finally.

SANTAQUIN?

So, there's an announcement on rideuta.com about adding Santaquin (scroll down a little bit on the map) to the Timpanogos Transit District (a.k.a. UTA in Utah County). I'm interested to see what this entails.

I mean, every plan for buses I've ever drawn up on my own involves SOMETHING going to Santaquin, and they eventually want to have a FrontRunner station there, but what exactly is going to go to Santaquin right now? At this moment, Payson is as far south as UTA goes, and I haven't heard stirrings of UTA wanting to add anything else to the southern part of the county. Now I'm curious.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

WHY IT'S HELPFUL TO HAVE UTA MEMORIZED

Yesterday I was supposed to get up at 6:55. Oops.

I was trying to get up early so that I could go to the gym in the morning before I started what I was afraid would be extensive studies. However, my body decided it needed sleep more than to be in shape, and I was hesitant to overrule it.

So I went to school at 10:00 instead. My homework turned out to be much shorter than I had planned, and I realized that I actually still had time to go to the gym before work. This is why it's helpful to have UTA memorized:

"Well, if I take the 831 Southbound at 12:56 from the Wilkinson Center, I can spend 45 minutes at the gym and catch it back at 1:43, which means I'll still get to work on time. What if the 831 is late? Well, I'll just catch the 822 at 1:00. What if I miss the bus coming back? Hmmm. There's not another one before 2:00. I guess I had better not miss the bus back."

I know most people are not in the habit of making spur-of-the-moment bus trips around here, but I am. Pleased with myself, I boarded the bus to go to the gym.

Then I got to the gym and realized I was wearing flip-flops. Oops.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

RECORD

I was at a barbecue last night, talking to other graduate students about school of graduateness and how awesome we are because we're at BYU for a few extra years, etc. and the subject of the infamous "Transportation Class" came up. See, there's this class Civil Engineering majors have to take where they have to ride the bus ten times during the semester and do a write-up about it. My interlocutor said something like "get ready for the transportation class!"

I said, "Oh, I could do that in a day."

She said, "Nuh-uh, you have to ride the bus ten times!"

I said, "My record is 11 times in one day."

I think I may have weirded her out.

P.S. Since grad students at BYU are blessed with much more abundant children than those of other universities, they had crayons for the little kids to draw on the tablecloths. I drew the 832. And signed it. Ha ha ha.

SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT I'D DO

Someone once asked me if I had ever gotten on a bus and then gotten off at the next stop. I told them, "I would never do that." I have, in fact, walked the wrong way down the bus route a couple of times so that I could uphold that vow. But then, one day I did. I got on a bus and got back off at the very next stop.

I don't feel too bad about it, actually. I got on at UVU and the next stop was in American Fork.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

DEAR STUPID PROVO DRIVER (16)

Dear stupid Provo driver:

It's a bus. It stops. Get over it.

Don't honk at it when it stops with you behind it. It won't help. Also, you should probably not risk your life trying to merge around it while it's stopped.

If it bothers you that bad that the bus stops in front of you, be advised that six buses per hour run down Bulldog between University and Freedom. You may want to consider not driving in the rightmost lane for two blocks. No annoyed you, no annoyed bus driver, no annoyed me.

Regards,
BUSNINJA

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

KICK

This week on BYU campus the rental car service that is starting up is being advertised. That's nice. I want to go up to their shiny new car and kick it.

Monday, September 13, 2010

BLAH BLAH BLAH

So, one day my gf and I were driving in downtown SLC, and I happened to see the 209 go past.

I said, "Hey, look, it's the 209!"

She said, "Oh, good," in a very supportive way.

Everything was fine, until we were driving back, and we hit 100 South. Then I said something like the following:

"Hey, look, it's 100 South!
The 228 goes down 100 South!

Hey, look, that's the 228!
But wait! That's bus number 09010!

That's the bus number we just saw on the 209!
Does that mean that the 209 and the 228 interline?
How does that work?
The 209 comes four, five times as often as the 228 during the middle of the day!
So do they just do it during rush hour, or . . ."

She just sighed. She's very patient.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

DEAR STUPID PROVO PEDESTRIAN (10)

Dear stupid Provo pedestrian:

I know it's nice when cars stop to let you across the street. However, considering that where you were standing on the curb hopefully gazing at the passing cars was not a crosswalk, and that the car you ran in front of was actually turning left, not stopping for you, you might want to be less ready to ascribe noble motives to the drivers around here, and more ready to protect your life when you cross the street.

Seriously, man, don't end your college career two weeks after you started it.

Regards,
BUSNINJA

Thursday, September 9, 2010

FAIL, PART TWO

Those of you who were actually counting during the last post will by now have realized that I only rode the bus six times this morning . . .

EPIC FAIL.

FAIL

So, now that I'm BUSNINJA the master's student, I obviously won't be able to post as often. However, today's diff eq's was less panic-inducing than usual, so I'm giving it a shot.

This morning I had big plans of (1) going to the temple, (2) depositing my money in the bank, (3) getting my materials homework AND my diff eq's homework done before work, and (4) blogging.

(1) FAIL. My alarm went off this morning and my body said "If you make me get up now, I'll kill you." I'm not sure how that would work, but I decided not to argue.

(2) WIN. I did go to the bank, and now my bank account contains more than a single digit number.

(3) FAIL. I went to campus first this morning (via the 831), with the intent of finishing my materials homework and then going to the bank. I walked into the Civil Engineering Mechanics TA Lab, sat down right across from the TA, opened my backpack, and realized my engineering paper was still at home. I managed a sheepish grin before getting back up and deciding to go to the bank first (via the 830).

After the bank, I went home (via the 832 and the 831--SECRET TRANSFER!!!), picked up my engineering paper, and chatted with my roommates while I waited for the bus to come back. I then went back to campus (via the 831), only to realize that I had set my paper down again, and was for the second time empty-handed on campus.

So I went back home (via the 830), grabbed my paper and ran out the door in time to go back up to campus (via the 831, for the third time). Once I got that done, my materials homework wasn't so bad. But I had lost a precious half-hour on my diff eq's, which will probably haunt me for the rest of the semester, if not my life.

For those of you who were counting, that's seven times I rode the bus this morning. Seven.

(4) Win. Always win.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

LIFESTYLE CHOICES

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo . . .


Yesterday I went all day without riding the bus. Shocking, I know.

It makes me question my commitment to my lifestyle choice . . .

Friday, September 3, 2010

NEENER NEENER

So, picture this.  It's early in the morning.  I approach the bus stop, where there is a small crowd of people forlornly waiting for the 811.  As they gaze longingly down University Ave., I calmly wait for the 831 to pop around the corner.  The 831 comes.  I get on.  Everyone else is still forlornly standing there.  Now imagine it's raining.

Sometimes it gives me the almost uncontrollable urge to say "Haha, suckaz!" as I get on the bus.