Friday, December 31, 2010

FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2011

In honor of it being, well, New Year's, I decided to post some fearless predictions:

ONE. There is a chance that BYU will, in fact, not discontinue the discounted student bus pass.  There is a similar chance that the moon will simultaneously turn to jello, plummet to the earth, and fall into little cups, thus ridding commutergirl and I of the difficult responsibility of figuring out what to serve at our wedding reception.
TWO.With the discontinuation of the BYU student bus pass, the number of students riding the bus will also turn to jello, plummet to the earth, and fall into little cups.  Anyone else getting married soon?
THREE.Since no one will be riding the bus through BYU anymore, UTA will consider rerouting the 831, 832, and 833.  Then, two weeks before Change Day, they will decide to cancel them altogether.  The 862, which will still be carrying less than any of them, will incongruously continue running every half-hour.
FOUR.With fewer buses going through BYU, UTA will discontinue the bus stop at the Wilkinson Center.  Buses will, instead, start stopping at the Creamery on Ninth, and only for a few seconds, with UTA instructing passengers that, if they want to get off there, they will have to "take a running jump, it's good for you."
FIVE.Passengers will, surprisingly, take UTA at its word, and the resulting injuries caused by, in technical terms, "bones hitting concrete", will result in numerous lawsuits that, once the financial damages are added up, result in UTA's being forced to close their doors forever.
SIX.After all this, and realizing that no one, including the Busninja, has ridden the 232 for seventeen years, UTA will officially cancel it, just to rub it in.
p.s. Commutergirl has just informed me that, even if the moon were to simultaneously turn to jello, plummet to the earth, and fall into little cups, under no circumstances will we be having jello at our wedding reception.  So there.

3 comments:

  1. dude i didn't know you were engaged! congrats

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  2. I don't know, I think moon jello would be kind of awesome. Just no carrots or marshmallows!

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  3. Dear BusNinja,
    I love that you love the bus so much! I also ride alot. We are trying to organize informed passionate people to help develop a viable solution to the byu bus pass issue. As improbable as that solution may be, I firmly believe that if we all work together we can coax that moon down for your reception. Perhaps jello is the wrong solution. Maybe it could turn into pina colatas or hummus. Anyway, email me great.bean(a)gmail.com and check out our new website: www.byubusstop.org.

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