Thursday, June 21, 2012

MAKING FRIENDS

Sometimes, in the normal course of events, trains and buses aren't friends.  Sometimes the Red Line is late enough that you miss the 39 Eastbound.  And then the next one doesn't show up (happily, the next one is right on time).  And you end up waiting 28 minutes for a bus that ostensibly comes every 15.

What could you do to pass the time?  Well, if, unlike me, you don't have a 1,400-page history book to read, you could try making some friends.  This often happens when transit is delayed for one reason or another.  However, if you are the kind of person who gets a kick out of annoying others, let me suggest the following course of action:

1.  Complain loudly and frequently about how the bus is late.  In case the people around you don't know, or have forgotten in the last two minutes, that the bus is late.

2.  Swear often.  Try to fit "f***" and "s***" into every sentence, if possible.

3.  Even when the people around you are actively ignoring you, try to engage them in conversation multiple times.

4.  Make complaints that aren't true.  Strive to make them true by repeating them every time someone new comes.

If you do these things, not only will you achieve your goal of annoying others, you will definitely make the bus come faster.  I'm sure of it.

2 comments:

  1. Awesome. :) I like "actively ignoring you". I can't tell you how many times, when I was a frequent bus rider, men would try to talk to me & I'd give them a semi-polite smile that clearly shouted, "Leave me alone, you weirdo!" It got so bad that I bought a fake silver band to wear on my ring finger whenever I rode the bus, just so they'd stop talking to me. Worked like a charm. They did, however, continue to loudly bother others. But hey, problem transfered!

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  2. Sometimes I carry a Book of Mormon on the bus. Amazing what a dampening effect that had on potential creepering.

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