Tuesday, January 1, 2013

FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2013

Happy new year!  By all accounts, 2012 was a hard year for everyone.  So far, I haven't heard anyone unequivocally say "2012 was a good year."  It was certainly a fight for me to finish my degree while working in a different county than I went to school in and commuting 4 to 5 hours per day.  But now that's over and I have a degree and a nice job (more on that later).  As I now pick up the pieces of my broken life that I abandoned one by one as MASTER'S PROJECT loomed larger and larger in my cerebral cortex, I offer you some fearless predictions for the year that began eleven hours ago:

ONE.  The Airport line will open this April.  Along with the hordes of commuters, convention goers, and people who live near North Temple that will take advantage of the new line will be many BYU students who are too cheap/poor for a regular bus pass but are willing to pay the apparently exorbitant price (according to scores of people I have spoken with in the past few weeks) of $5.65 twice a year to get from Provo to the airport and back over Christmas break.  The number of calls for rides placed to home teachers will plummet, offering a much-needed respite to said home teachers from having to drive their home teachees to the airport at odd hours after a tiring semester.  However, due to the fact that almost-strangers are no longer forced to make conversation on the hour drive, the amount of marriages that start as home teaching relationships will also plummet, leading to a significant population decrease in the Provo area by the year 2040.

TWO.  The 506, 510, and 512 will return.  Maybe not exactly as they were proposed last year, but I wouldn't be suprised to see them come back in some form or another.  Something is certainly bound to change in the North Temple/Rose Park area.  It's happened before that a proposed route didn't get implemented the first time and then came back in a different guise *cough* 509 *cough*

THREE.  The following scenario will only become more common:


As its official ignorance toward transit persists, BYU will receive more and more pressure from sports fans, parents, students, faculty, and Provo residents who are sick of having students park in front of their house for increased transit service and cooperation of any sort with the local transit agency.  In response to these repeated requests, BYU will use the same logic it has been using with its students for years: "We've done research, and there isn't enough demand for it."

FOUR.  The Draper line will open in August.  While not accompanied by nearly as much fanfare as the Airport line, and probably without quite as much ridership, the Draper line will have one significant consequence: it will greatly reduce the number of people parking at Sandy Civic Center.  Now mostly devoid of cars, the vast parking lots there will become impromptu basketball courts, hopscotch games, dance floors, and skateboard parks.  With the addition of Simply Mac (r) and a fair trade coffee shop, the area will accidentally become a hipster hot spot.

FIVE.  After finishing the Front Lines rail program two years early, UTA will unveil a new plan for more rail lines criscrossing the Salt Lake Valley.  As soon as the poster is put up, a group of approximately 300 Salt Lake residents will immediately attack it and tear it down, shouting "No new trains, just make the bus run after 9 p.m.!"

SIX.  Baby BUSNINJA will make his dramatic entrance into the world some time in the second quarter of this year.  "His" because we think it's a boy; "dramatic" because he will be my son; "second quarter" because that's when the due date falls.  Life will never be the same.  Bring it on.

2 comments:

  1. I hate to see one of your predictions disproved so soon, but... http://www.rideuta.com/uploads/UTAPublicHearingNoticeApril2013.pdf

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I saw that and I thought . . . welp . . .

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