Saturday, March 16, 2013


Dear stupid Provo driver:

The next time you're in downtown Salt Lake and you feel like you just HAVE to get around that bus to get wherever it is so, so important that you get to three seconds earlier (even though you'll just end up waiting at the same light everyone else that isn't cutting off buses ends up waiting at a few seconds later, anyway), don't.

Think about what happened yesterday, when you swung around the 200 and turned right just in front of it, only to find that you were facing the wrong way on a one-way street.  And how, after realizing, too late, that you were facing the wrong way on a one-way street, you sat there in consternation for a little while longer, further delaying the bus.  And how, eventually, you ended up going the wrong way down a one-way street, an offense which, if ticketed, gives you basically enough points to lose your driver's license (which, if you lost, would force you either to take transit, heaven forbid, or sit around moping and waiting for rides, neither of which would get you to your all-important destination as fast as you for some reason feel you need to get there); how this took you so much longer than if you had waited three seconds for the bus to pull back into traffic because you had to go all the way around the block just to get where you were before, no small feat in downtown Salt Lake City.

I know that my telling people like you that if you're less reckless, you'll get to your destination faster is like Jeremiah preaching repentance to ancient Israel, but I'm not going to stop until you all repent.


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