Tuesday, January 5, 2016

FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2016

Editor's Note: This post was originally meant to be published yesterday, but after yesterday's frightening TRAX accident it was postponed and one of the predictions has been . . . revised. Our sympathy to those who were affected by yesterday's events.

Editor's Second Note: I do realize that these used to come out before the year started. That was when I was childless.

ONE. Shortly after taking office, Mayor Biskupski of Salt Lake City will begin investigating the possibility of creating a municipal transit agency. The prospect will seem exciting at first, but eventually she will realize that that it would be far cheaper to stand back and take some potshots than to start the Salt Lake Municipal Transit Authority (thus we will narrowly avoid having the Salt Lake MT Bus Company).

TWO. Early in the year the driver of a single-occupancy vehicle will t-bone a parked UTA bus while going at least 40 miles an hour. Somehow it will still be UTA's fault.

THREE. The price of gas will fall again, this time to under a dollar per gallon. Strangely, though, transit ridership will not fall this time, because those of us who are still riding UTA clearly aren't doing it for the money.

FOUR. At some point Prop 1 money will begin flowing into the coffers of the Ogden garage and, contrary to the predictions of all 32 Trib commenters, service will actually increase in Weber and Davis counties. Residents of Ogden and Layton and Clearfield and other such places will begin taking the bus en masse as the region enters a new era of Transit Paradise and good will.

FIVE. This will lead Salt Lake County residents to start complaining and asking "Why Ogden? Why not us?" to which UTA will respond


SIX. But wait! The sudden realization on the part of taxpayers that transit could improve in Salt Lake County if it were actually funded, combined with the extensive research done by the Mayor's office on municipal transit will suddenly and magically combine to form the prospect of a vastly better proposed system that almost everybody will enthusiastically vote for. Transit for everybody! I can die in peace.

(Not that I'm planning on it, necessarily.)

SEVEN. The time is fast upon us when Baby Busninja #2 will make her way into the world, kicking and screaming and adorable beyond all description. I'll have to think of a new nickname for Baby, since he really isn't a baby anymore. So I wouldn't expect the punctuality of my posts to go up in the near future. I mean, I love you guys, but . . . babies.

It's a brave new year! Get out there and ride transit!

2 comments:

  1. Ah, Schnittke. Last February, I attended a concert featuring J.S. Bach’s Sonata No 3 for Viola de Gamba and Harpsichord, and Alfred Schnittke’s Sonata No 1 for Violencello and Piano. It’s a good thing the musicians could hear and explain how much alike the two pieces are because I would never have picked up on this in a million years of listening.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow. Ended up on the wrong post! Sorry.

    ReplyDelete